Sister: Chad, why do boys only like mean girls?
Chad: Well, selfish girls tend to do a better job of fixing themselves up, because all they ever think about is themselves. Plus, their focus on their own worth does a decent sales job of making boys think they are something to fight for.
Sister: What? Um, but why do they like girls that are pretty on the outside and awful on the inside?
Chad: Tolstoy said, 'It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.' The boys want a girl who is exciting and very good. Some boys don't have things figured out that far, and those don't know what they want- and those are a pretty waste of time that you should avoid.
In other words, the good catch boy is continually being deceived by good looks, which keep him walking a confusing path as he searches for the authentic amongst the counterfeits.
Sister: So you are saying all the good boys really want the good girls, but they just have trouble recognizing the real deal?
Chad: Yep. There is the real thing, and there is a fake version. The fake version can have many different forms. Once I saw a girl who seemed special even though I had never talked to her; another girl pointed out that the 'special' girl never wore less than a thousand dollars worth of fashionable clothes. The clothes provided a counterfeit excitement. Another girl I met was not very expressive, and it made her seem more beautiful. Sometimes qualities may be counterfeited: if a girl acts like she loves sports, it may seem great to the guy, but it may reflect that the girl doesn't know what it is like to "like" anything, so she finds little wrong with her utilitarian attitude towards sports.
Sister: How do I get the guys to see the real me?
Chad: You have to make sure you are dealing with a guy who actually wants to see reality, and then you have to figure out what is genuinely exciting between the two of you. If you can talk about things and understand each other in a way that is deep, that can be really exciting. If you have the ability to bring out the best in each other's hobbies or career that can be great. If you can enjoy hobbies together that can be great.
Counterfeit excitement needs to be identified. If a couple helps fix broken confidence for each other, I expect that it is only a temporary blessing, so don't think of it as a match made in heaven. Physical attraction can be fake, fixing the 'bad boy' is fake, I-like-whatever-you-like relationships, and wordless stare-into-each-other's-eyes is fake.
Sister: Okay, I have to go...
Chad: One more thing- while you are trying to help the guys see things clearly, make sure you see things clearly yourself; make sure you aren't chasing a boy who is a counterfeit!
Sister: You talk too much.
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